With the cost of petrol rising faster than… something that rises quite quickly… I thought it would be a good idea to try out different ways of reducing my fuel consumption. I have tried a few things out, the most successful of which I list here.
1) Get rid of excess shit. I cleaned my car out, removing all the random crap I had in the door pockets and boot, and managed to fill one large Argos bag, one Sainsbury’s carrier bag and half an Asda bag with rubbish. This means I have been carrying around an extra person in terms of weight. OK, maybe not an extra person, but at least a small child or dog. So now when I am driving around I will be able to go further, and faster.
2) Stay below 2,000rpm. I’ve been trying to drive a little more gently around town, without razzing the revs and stuff. Obviously this is the most boring way to drive but tests show chilled out acceleration is the best way to preserve fuel. Also I come off the gas whenever I see a red light ahead, and let inclines help me brake. Stuff like that.
Obvs sometimes driving in a laid back way can get pretty boring, especially when you are late for work, but in a world where fuel costs are rising faster than… stuff… it might be the only way to stay above the motoring poverty line.
Fans of popular pop rapper Professor Green and the popular ‘Tom The Butcher’ advertising campaign from popular supermarket Morrisons will have noticed this one:
That’s right, Professor Green looks like Tom The Butcher!
Obvs I keep a close eye on my blog stats – how else would I stay on top of the thousands upon thousands of visits the site attracts every day? – and one of the thing that interests me most is the keywords that people use to get to the site from natural search.
These range from the obvious (Why does Timbaland do those weird faces?) to the unexpected, a category my next example certainly falls into.
I have found that in the past 30 days, a total of 50 people have landed on the blog after searching for the word ‘miserable’ – 15 of them in past week alone. I like to this that this isn’t representative of how Google views my tone or content, but that it has more to do with the fact that I have a post title (‘Free MP3: my miserable doomcore/bleakstep project‘) with the word miserable in it.
Although you would have thought the keyword attracting most traffic to that particular post would be ‘PLEASE SHOW ME THE FUTURE OF MUSIC AND LET ME DOWNLOAD IT’.
- Why do people searching for ‘miserable’ find my blog?
- Is my blog miserable?
- Are you miserable?
- What does it mean to be miserable in 2011?
What search terms do people use to find your blog? Send me a postcard and let me know!
Is the first line in Lotus Flower, the latest Radiohead MP3:
“I’ll shit myself into your pocket”
Probably not. The video for Lotus Flower was choreographed by Wayne McGregor, of Wayne McGregor Random Dance fame, who worked with Thom Yorke to create the challenging footage below.
The tune is being talked about like some sort of pop moment (it’s even being played on Radio 1) but one suspects that this is mainly because on The King Of Limbs it sits among some of the most demanding material the band have committed to MP3. The album is actually quite good, but it’s a lot of bloody work.
DOWNLOAD: Radiohead – Lotus Flower (MP3 // MEDIAFIRE)
Jessie J looks like Chastity Dingle off Emmerdale.
Note: this appeared in one of those glossy weekly magazines, but only after it had been on here. Not saying they nicked it, just saying that I didn’t nick it.
Whisper the words ‘folk rock’ to any self-respecting adult and the usual response will be for them to run away, twice as fast if the word ‘Mumford’ is involved in any way.
But despite falling loosely into this terrible genre, Nightingale, the latest from London-based troupe Erland and the Carnival, is actually quite good. One suspects the presence of former Verve and The Good, The Bad and The Queen man Simon Tong has something to do with it, as must the fact no one called Mumford is anywhere near it.
So La Vieille Dame Terrible of the fashion world John Galliano has got himself in a whole heap of bother after mouthing off to some women in the same French bar where he has recently arrested for… er… mouthing off to some couple.
I say ‘mouthing off’ – I do of course mean ‘being a completely reprehensible bastard’. Honestly, the shit he came out with makes the Jade Goody Shilpashettygate stuff seem like a humanitarian UN summit.
It turns out Dior has now sacked the designer after a video emerged of him drunkenly declaring his love for Hitler and coming out with the usual sort of racist ‘people like you’ bollocks you hear from ill-informed bigots.
Obvs I’m not going to post the video due to what Dior rightly calls the “odious” nature of what Galliano says but if you are really interested there’s a News International, Sun-watermarked copy doing the rounds on YouTube. Search: ‘John Galliano racist‘. Screenshot below.
Looks like it’s all over now for John Galliano. Hard to see a way back from this, unless he turns a living designing uniforms for fascists or whatever.